Regrets and New decisions
by ashleyhalecullen
Summary: Bella left the Cullens before Edward could leave her for Tanya, but what happens if its not only Bella that leaves? Could Bella and Edward ever work after dark twisted secrets are reviled and to make matters worse Bella is now a famous singer. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Sighing she looked into the mirror, "Seattle tonight then Forks tomorrow", she thought to her self. She was ending her first world tour in the place she grew up. Bella knew how hard tomorrow was going to be - but hey! It's a singer's job to entertain the people right? She had thousands of memories in Forks, some good and some bad (and actually the bad definitely outweighed the good).

She picked the photo of her little boy up and smiled at the memories. Maybe there was some good in Forks. She jumped at the sound of someone clearing their throat, turning around she saw Jake. Jake, the man who had been her rock through these passed 6 years, ever since Edward left her for Tanya…Bella grew angry at that name, she hated the woman who stole everything from her! But, because Edward was happy, Bella pushed her feelings to one side. Walking towards Jake she wrapped her arms around his neck, the only place she felt safe: this was an instant reaction. She seemed to be with it, however she was still in a world of her own. "Bella," Jake whispered in her ear, this caused her to jump once again, "thinking too much is bad for you, you know." he chuckled as she hit him playfully. "I'm allowed to think," she muttered back to herself.

Picking her up he swung her round "come on princess, show time" she couldn't help but laugh at his jazz hands, as he turned and walked out the door. He turned swiftly facing Bella "remember meet and greet after the show" he winked and walked the other way. Bella hated meet and greet, it was the same old questions every time or the same statement "I'm your biggest fan". Bella loved her fans, they were her world, the reason she was here, however it got tiring after a while, two-hour set to screaming fans was not very high on her list.

Bella had changed a lot since Edward had left her. Firstly she was blond; this wasn't her doing but her managers apparently thought she needed a 'New Image', and she didn't bother complaining to Megan, her manager, who probably wouldn't have listened to her anyway. Secondly she wasn't clumsy; she could dance and had learned to trust her back up dancers when doing lifts and falls. You could say she was a changed woman, but Bella knew it was for the best.

Turning off her light, she smiled one last time at the picture, shutting the door she walked up the bare corridor to where Mike was standing "this way Izzy" she nodded. Izzy was her stage name. No one called her "Bella" or "Bells" apart from Jake, especially since her father….shaking it off she climbed up the blocks, Bella would be free-falling just to be caught by her dances during the song. Smiling as she heard the crowd screaming her name this was Bella favourite feeling, the light shone on her as she began to sing.

_Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street Faster than the wind Passionate as sin, ended so suddenly Loving him is like trying to change your mind Once you're already flying through the free fall Like the colours in autumn So bright just before they lose it all._

_Losing him was blue like I'd never known Missing him was dark grey all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met But loving him was red Loving him was red _

_Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favourite song Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong._

_Losing him was blue like I'd never known missing him was dark grey all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met_

_But loving him was red oh red burning red _

_Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes tell myself it's time now, gotta let go But moving on from him is impossible When I still see it all in my head  
Burning red! Darling it was red! _

_Oh, losing him was blue like I'd never known Missing him was dark grey all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met Cause loving him was red yeah yeah red We're burning red_  
_And that's why he's spinning round in my head Comes back to me burning red Yeah yeah_  
_His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street_

" Red" is the first song in Izzy's album, she wrote this song about Edward. Coming to think of it most her songs were about Edward. Bella would always love him even if she denied it to everyone apart from Jake, she knew she was Edward's second best and in time she'd learn to deal with that. Pushing back the thought she spoke to the crowd... again.

"Seattle! How you all doing tonight!?" Bella shouted into her microphone, her smile beamed as the audience responded to her fanatically. "Who's having a good time!?" The audience screamed, "Woop!" She she was sure she heard some "I love you Izzy"'s in there too.

_I walked through the door with you_  
_The air was cold but something 'bout it felt like home somehow and I_  
_Left my scarf there at your sister's house_  
_And you still got it in your drawer even now_

_Oh, your sweet disposition_  
_And my wide-eyed gaze_  
_We're singing in a car getting lost Upstate_  
_The autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place_

_And I can picture it after all these days_  
_And I know it's long gone, and that magic's not here no more_  
_And it might be okay, but I'm not fine at all_

_Cause here we are again on that little town street_  
_You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me_  
_Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well_

_Photo album on the counter_  
_Your cheeks were turning red_  
_You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed_  
_And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the t-ball team_  
_You tell me about your past thinking your future was me_

_And I know it's long gone, and there was nothing else I could do_  
_And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to_

_Cause here we are again in the middle of the night_  
_We're dancing round the kitchen in the refrigerator light_  
_Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well_  
_Yeah_

_And maybe we got lost in translation_  
_Maybe I asked for too much_  
_But maybe this thing was a masterpiece_  
_´til you tore it all up_  
_Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well_

_Hey you called me up again just to break me like a promise_  
_So casually cruel in the name of being honest_  
_I'm a crumbled up piece of paper lying here_  
_Cause I remember it all all all too well_

_Time won't fly it's like I'm paralysed by it_  
_I´d like to be my old self again_  
_But I'm still trying to find it_  
_After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own_  
_Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone_  
_But you keep my old scarf from that very first week_  
_Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me_  
_You can't get rid of it, cause you remember it all too well Yeah_

_Cause there we are again when I loved you so_  
_Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known_  
_It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well_

_Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all_  
_Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all_  
_It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well_

She smiled as she looked from left to right at the amazing crowd. Reading some of the banners she laughed, "MARRY ME IZZY!" was written on a few, too bad she was 'taken'. Well….it's a long story. Her smile broke, her breathing was hindered as she spotted them.

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	2. Chapter 2

Edwards's p.o

Edward hadn't been the same since she left him; was he really that bad with Tanya? Did she cloud my thoughts? The answer was probably yes, although he was too stubborn to admit it. Six years he had been away from her, six years since he left this place with Tanya. Well technically he wasn't the one who finished it, she was with that song, who knew my beautiful Bella could sing? After all that time I never new.

-Flash back-

**The family had went out hunting with Tanya, she came down about three weeks ago to see the family. They'd laughed and joked about the old memories they both shared and they had seemed to get closer during these last few weeks. They left Bella asleep in the house, my angel looked perfect.I can remember writing her a note telling her we'd be back before she awoken.**

**When they got in there was a video tape on the table, Tanya was the one who realised it, with a message that said "I'm sorry" He stopped breathing, well not that he needed to, but it was an instant thing, a reaction to pretend to breath. As Alice pressed play, Bella appeared on the screen, tears down her face. She carried the camera over to the piano and started playing, two short seconds later she started singing.**

**_I know when she's been on your mind  
That distant look is in your eyes  
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over  
It's not the way I choose to live  
And something some where's gotta give  
As sharing in this relationship gets older, older_**

**_You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight someone who isn't even there_**  
**_I've had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don't care if that's not fair_**

**_Cause I want it all_**  
**_Or nothing at all_**  
**_There's nowhere left to fall_**  
**_When you reach the bottom it's now or never_**  
**_Is it all_**  
**_Or are we just friends_**  
**_Is this how it ends_**  
**_With a simple telephone call_**  
**_You leave me here with nothing at all_**

**_There are time it seems to me_**  
**_I'm sharing you with memories_**  
**_I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it_**  
**_Then there's times you look at me_**  
**_As though I'm all that you could see_**  
**_Those times I don't believe it's right I know it , know it_**

**_Don't make me promises baby you never did know how to keep them well_**  
**_I had the rest of you now I want the best of you it's time to show and tell_**

**_Cause I want it all_**  
**_Or nothing at all_**  
**_There's nowhere left to fall_**  
**_When you reach the bottom it's now or never_**  
**_Is it all_**  
**_Or are we just friends_**  
**_Is this how it ends_**  
**_With a simple telephone call_**  
**_You leave me here with nothing at all_**

**_Cause you and I_**  
**_Could lose it all if you've got no more room_**  
**_No more inside for me in your life_**

**_Cause I want it all_**  
**_Or Nothing at all_**  
**_There's nowhere left to fall_**  
**_It's now or never_**

**_Is it all_**  
**_Or Nothing at all_**  
**_When you reach the bottom it's now or never_**  
**_Is it all_**  
**_Or are we just friends_**  
**_Is this how it ends_**  
**_With a simple telephone call_**  
**_You leave me here with nothing at all_**  
**_There's nowhere left to fall_**

**"Goodbye" weere the final words spoken before the camera went off.**

**-End of flashback-**

He was instantly snapped out of his flash back by a loud high pitched scream from his sister. He loved Alice but sometimes she was annoying. "They're here!" She fluttered gracefully past him to show Rose. "I can believe it," Rose whispered - although she knew they could all hear her. "What's happening?" Tanya wondered as she came to stand beside him, he wrapped his arms around her waist, "The tickets came for Izzy's concert!" Alice smiled at Tanya, they all knew it was Bella although they kept it from Tanya, who would only go off on a tangent and refuse to go; as if one night wasn't enough Alice bought tickets for Seattle and Forks. Apparently in Forks there was going to be a 'Big Revelation' by Izzy. The family had all tried to welcome Tanya in spite of her best friend leaving, but Tanya could never replace Bella, Alice would never have that bond again.

Unwillingly he dragged his body up the stairs, it wasn't so much the fact that he was going tonight, it was more the prospect of seeing her, and whether he was ready. To make things worse Alice had back stage passes for tonight. He sighed; he supposed it had to come sometime. They headed off, and on arrival Alice handed all the tickets to the man, he was big (but not as big as Emmett), his arms covered in what seemed like meaningless tattoos. They walked in, well apart from Alice who ran in and decided to leave them all having no having clue whatsoever where they were sitting. Alice was just excited to see her best friend again; she told Edward time and time again that she didn't blame him for Bella leaving, except he knew the truth: not only Alice but the whole family blamed him.

He was sitting talking to Tanya. Music playing in the background, Bon Jovi; Bella loved Bon Jovi, in fact he was pretty sure he heard Alice say this was from her own personal collection. When he heard her, he stopped talking and watched as she fell back being caught by her dancers; Emmett laughed beside me "maybe she isn't so clumsy anymore" Rose hit him on the arm giving him a stern 'shut up' look.

We listened to Bella sing and talk to the crowd; Alice and Emmett of course answered her every question. After singing "Red" and "All Too Well" his attention turned to Alice. "Edward, you're trying to tell me they weren't about you?" Of course she only thought it so only he heard, still he just didn't reply. Bella skimmed the crowd and her eyes landed on him. He couldn't help but hold her gaze, Bella….his Bella, his love. Memories came flooding back. Oh how he wished he knew what she was thinking, she dropped her gaze and a forced smile appeared on her lips

After a few more songs she started talking to the audience. "It's been fantastic being here tonight, I thank you all for having me here." There was screaming from the audience, shouting about how much they loved 'Izzy'. "I'm gonna leave you with a little message tonight: be who you want, do what you want and just remember be FEARLESS!" she shouted into the crowd as the music started.

**There's somethin' 'bout the way  
The street looks when it's just rained  
There's a glow off the pavement  
you walk me to the car  
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there  
In the middle of the parking lot  
Yeah  
Oh yeah**

**We're drivin' down the road**  
**I wonder if you know**  
**I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now**  
**But you're just so cool**  
**Run your hands through your hair**  
**Absent mindedly makin' me want you**

**And I don't know how it gets better than this**  
**You take my hand and drag me head first**  
**Fearless**  
**And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress**  
**Fearless**

**So baby drive slow**  
**'til we run out of road in this one horse town**  
**I wanna stay right here in this passenger's seat**  
**You put your eyes on me**  
**In this moment now capture it, remember it**

**Cause I don't know how it gets better than this**  
**You take my hand and drag me head first**  
**Fearless**  
**And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress**  
**Fearless**

**Well you stood there with me in the doorway**  
**My hands shake**  
**I'm not usually this way but**  
**You pull me in and I'm a little more brave**  
**It's the first kiss,**  
**It's flawless,**  
**Really something,**  
**It's fearless.**

**Oh yeah**  
**Cause' I don't know how it gets better than this**  
**You take my hand and drag me head first**  
**Fearless**  
**And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress**  
**Fearless**

**Cause' I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress  
Fearless**

**Oh-oh  
Oh yeah**

She walked off stage as the crowds began to shift out of their seats and eventually out of the arena, all of them talking about how brilliant Bella was, and of course she was brilliant. "My Bella was brilliant," Edward thought to himself, "Wait….my Bella?" He shook it off "No? No, I have Tanya now, stupid, stupid Edward!" This was a fight he often had with himself; consequently there was never a winner. The family began to be dragged back stage by Alice who was showing their passes as they were escorted into a room. "Wait here," the man said as he opened the door. The room was large, and they nodded as he closed the door. ""Well…." he thought, "This is it."


	3. Chapter 3

Bella p.o

She walked off stage as the crowds began to shift out of their seats and eventually out of the arena, all of them talking about how brilliant Bella was, and of course she was brilliant. "My Bella was brilliant," Edward thought to himself, "Wait….my Bella?" He shook it off "No? No, I have Tanya now, stupid, stupid Edward!" This was a fight he often had with himself; consequently there was never a winner. The family began to be dragged back stage by Alice who was showing their passes as they were escorted into a room. "Wait here," the man said as he opened the door. The room was large, and they nodded as he closed the door. ""Well…." he thought, "This is it."

She chased after him. "JACOB BLACK I SWEAR TO GOD!" she screamed as everyone moved to one side as she ran down the corridor. "Leave god out of this!" he shouted back. She caught him just as he was walking through the door; jumping on him, so that they both fell, and wound up rolling over so he was on top of Bella, he laughed. "I still have got the photo!" He winked. Just before she could protest someone cleared their throat. It was Mike. Great! She rolled her eyes whilst getting up. "Well it's safe to say you know how to make an entrance," Jake growled beside her, she looked up to find eight pairs of golden eyes staring at her.

"Mike you can go now." She smiled at him, "But Izzy…!" She cut him off, "Just go!" He nodded and walked out of the room. "BELLA!" Alice screamed while running towards her, Bella stiffened as Alice crushed her. "Alice…can't... breathe…!" Bella wheezed. "Oh sorry!" she let go and looked Bella up and down, laughed then smiled. "It's fine Alice." "I've missed you!" Alice blurted out. "I erm…missed you too," she said quickly moving away from Alice, she then turned to Carlisle, "Carlisle!" She smiled and he drew her into a hug, not as crushing as Alice's. She next turned to Jasper with a short nod and that was it, before she was swung around by Emmett. "Hello to you too," she laughed and kissed his cheek. "Hey little sis!" I smiled at Rose. "Hello," she smiled and winked at Bella, of course it was the first time in six years she had seen Rose. Bella laughed causing a look from everyone else as Jake smirked.

She moved onto Esme and found herself in Esme arms, she loved Esme, a wave of guilt crashed hard into Bella; because of him, Esme knew this pain.

She stiffened Esme noticed and moved back, "Hello Esme," she smiled a sweet smile. "I've missed you," Esme said softly. "I've missed you too…mum," Bella whispered however she knew Esme heard, she has always been a mum to Bella, she hadn't had a mum in what seemed like a long time. She missed her mother and father, if only they were here. She turned to Tanya leaving Edward for last, "Nice to see you again Tanya." "I'm sure for you it's a pleasure!" Tanya spat at Bella, and Edward pulled her back. Bella she smiled sweetly at Tanya and turned to Jake. "Jake, I'm sure dogs aren't allowed in this facility, if the rules have changed tell Mike that I would like to be informed!" Alice, Emmett and Rose burst into laughter while the others were trying to hold back a laugh, that's right she's not the old Bella they had all came to know.

"You little…!" Tanya started until a little boy ran into the room and jumped on Bella. "Momma," he grinned at her, "You were so good!" He beamed at her. "Thank you beautiful!" She kissed his head and he laughed before he turned and noticed the Champaign on the side. "Momma are you and Jake on the happy juice?" Jake laughed, "No little guy - she wishes, me on the other hand..." Jake laughed not finishing his sentence as J-J reached out to him. "John-Joseph why don't you say hello to my friends?" Bella asked putting John-Joseph down so he could walk over to Esme and Carlisle first. "Good evening, I'm John-Joseph," he held out his hand smiling. "Well aren't you a polite little boy!" Carlisle said. "My name's Carlisle and this is my wife Esme." He shook Carlisle and Esme's hands before turning to Rose. "Rosie!" He smiled. Shit he was going to give it away! Rose looked at him "Oh erm, Momma's mentioned you before..." Rose laughed, "Nice to meet you J-J."

He said hello to everyone else and started yawning. "Baby, why don't you go with Uncle Jake and lie down?" He nodded and turned to everyone, "It was nice meeting you all." Bella watched him walk out the door as she turned to see those eight pairs of eyes staring at her. "Care to explain?" The anger in Edward's voice rose. "I hardly think it's your business!" She matched his anger. "He looks like Charlie..." Esme muttered. Bella flinched at the name of her dad…. "Maybe because it is because he's his son."

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	4. Chapter 4

Edward

"She called my girlfriend a dog? she called her a dog and I don't even care? Wow im a nice boyfriend" Edward thought to himself. He could feel Tanya getting angry beside him, his attention turned to his families' thoughts.

"Bad ass"

"That's my girl"

"Well…she certainly has changed"

"Its only the truth"

He growled at Rose's thought, Tanya wasn't perfect but she wasn't a dog, they had to accept Tanya was his mate now. Edward had always been to stubborn for his own good; Bella left him, that's what his family didn't understand. "I'll kill her" Tanya thought, this thought made Edward pull her back "you little…." Tanya started before the pushing of the door interrupted her, slamming against the wall a little boy appeared.

The little boy was the image of Charlie, he stood at about 3ft 5 and had to be no older the 4, he had Renee's fair hair. Of course, he had only seen her in photographs. The little boy was beautiful. He ran and jumped onto Bella "momma!" he grinned at her "You were so good" his little voice was stronger now. 'Wait momma?' his whole family where flooded with confusion, everyone had the same thought as him, Charlie! He had to be Charlie's, but he wouldn't do such a thing would he? Charlie ,although Edward wasn't his favourite person in the world was a good man, a good father; he wouldn't do such a thing would he?

The little boy made his way round the group; it wasn't until the little boy reached him he snapped out of his daydream "Hello" he smiled informing Edward his name was John-Joseph, Edward smiled and shook his hand. Carlisle was right, he was a polite little boy, but being Bella's son Edward knew he would be. His thoughts turned to Jake, John-Joseph wasn't Jakes but he felt attached. Bella sent the boy off with his 'Uncle Jake' before it was Esme who spoke "he looks like Charlie" it was spoke as a question, she was confused "maybe because its his son"

The statement played in Edwards mind as Tanya scoffed "Why would you have sex with your father?" She really wasn't the brightest spark in the bunch "Not that its any of your concern but that's not what happened" Bella spat back "Oh its not my concern dear" Tanya spat back.

"That's enough" Carlisle ordered, Bella had been looking down the whole time when she looked up you could see the raw emotion in her eyes "I'll be two minutes" she ran out the door. Two minutes later, she came back, beckoning for them to follow her.

She walked into a room a few doors down, she lead them into her dressing room Edward didn't fail to notice her looking around the room, checking. He watched as she pressed the red button on her remote and a walk in wardrobe appeared, the wall drop was bigger then Alice's Edward thought "Fuck" Bella muttered "Sorry its new" she pressed the next button and a studio appeared leading them in. She beckoned for them to sit down, picking up her guitar and microphone she looked at there family.

**_Oh if you could see me now  
(Oh if you could see me now)_**

_**It was February fourteen, Valentine's Day**_  
_**The roses came, but they took you away**_  
_**Tattooed on my arm is a charm to disarm all the harm**_  
_**Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is you're gone**_  
_**And I'll never get to show you these songs**_  
_**Dad, you should see the tours that I'm on,**_  
_**I see you standing there next to Mom**_  
_**Always singing along, yeah arm in arm**_  
_**And there are days when I'm losing my faith**_  
_**Because the man wasn't good he was great**_  
_**He'd say music was the home for your pain**_  
_**And explain, I was young, he would say**_  
_**"Take that rage, put it on a page**_  
_**Take the page to the stage**_  
_**Blow the roof off the place"**_  
_**I'm tryna make you proud**_  
_**Do everything you did**_  
_**I hope you're up there with God**_  
_**Saying that's my kid**_

_**I still look for your face in the crowd**_  
_**Oh if you could see me now**_  
_**(Oh if you could see me now)**_  
_**Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow**_  
_**Oh if you could see me now**_  
_**(Oh if you could see me now)**_

_**If you could see me now would you recognise me**_  
_**Would you pat me on the back or would you criticise me**_  
_**Would you follow every line on my tear stained face**_  
_**Put your hand on a heart that's was cold**_  
_**As the day you were taken away**_  
_**I know it's been awhile but I could see you clear as day**_  
_**Right now, I wish I could hear you say**_  
_**I drink too much and I smoke too much dutch**_  
_**But if you can't see me now that shit's a must**_  
_**You used to say I won't know I will until it cost me**_  
_**Like I won't know real love till I've loved then I've lost it**_  
_**And if you've lost a sister, someone's lost a mom**_  
_**And if you've lost a dad, then someone's lost a son**_  
_**And they're all missing now, and they're all missing now**_  
_**So if you get a second to look down at me now**_  
_**Mum, Dad, I'm just missing you now**_

_**I still look for your face in the crowd**_  
_**Oh if you could see me now**_  
_**Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?**_  
_**Oh if you could see me now**_

_**Oh... Oh...**_  
_**Would you call me a saint or a sinner?**_  
_**Would you love me a loser or winner?**_  
_**Oh... Oh...**_  
_**When I see my face in the mirror**_  
_**We look so alike that it makes me shiver**_

_**I still look for your face in the crowd**_  
_**Oh if you could see me now**_  
_**Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?**_  
_**Oh if you could see me now**_

_**I still look for your face in the crowd**_  
_**Oh if you could see me now**_  
_**Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow?**_  
_**Oh if you could see me now**_

_**Oh...**_  
_**You could see, you could see me now**_  
_**(You could see, you could see me now)**_

Bella chocked out for the last time, her tears stopping her from singing. Edward knew if his family could cry they would be crying now, he looked up at Bella tears came rushing from her cheeks; she went through all this alone? Esme pulled her into a hug making her sit down with their family "They…." She started "Renee came over here a few years back, she ended up sleeping with Charlie then found out she was pregnant she had the baby and for years everything was great" her breathing hitched, heavy and slow as she continued "That night they were coming to see me….me and Jake took J-J out that day, they were coming to see me perform, a drunk driver swerved into the side of them, flipping the car over then smashing them into a lamp-post" she flinched at the memory "Charlie was pronounced dead at the scene and Renee, well when they cut her out of the car, she was dead before they got to the hospital" she stood up walking away "John-Joseph knows im not his mother, but im the only person he's got" she then turned to face us "there, happy!?"


	5. Chapter 5

"I'll be two minutes!" She ran out the door then down the corridor to her right. She slowly opened the door smiling at the picture portrayed in front of her. Jake and John-Joseph were on the end of the corner sofa; Jake curled up in a ball around J-J. He had always been so protective, guess things never change.

Shaking Jake lightly she whispered to him, "Jake…Jake we need to hide these photographs." She laughed a little too loud at Jake's reaction. Out of the corner of her eye she saw J-J's eye lids flutter open and closed. Jake jumped up. "We what?" rubbing his eyes his voice was all but a whisper. "Hide these photographs," she repeated before turning to get to work. Bella knew deep down she needed to tell them, could she allow herself to open up? They were already asking about her parents and now this? She sighed. "I guess they'll find out tomorrow," she thought to herself.

Bella wasn't ready for them; she had always thought the Cullen's didn't like her. She had to sleep and eat, she didnt go hunting, nothing about her and them where the same. Yes, they would put on a smile and be polite; they'd even treat her like a daughter! But Bella didn't know if that was all an act. She wasn't ready to be hated all over again. She was in her own little world until she tripped over her hair curlers. "Stupid things," she muttered. "SAFE!" Jake called while laughing; he had always been a fan of baseball whilst she on the other hand didn't see what the big fuss was about.

She gave him a disapproval look; he just continued laughing helping her up. "Jake, count the alphabet backwards in your head yeah? I'm not ready for all this yet." He nodded. Bella giggled; she could see the concentration in his face. She kissed his cheek and walked out the door.

She wandered back into the room. Eight pairs of golden eyes landed on her again; she beckoned them to follow her. Walking in front of her former family she opened the door, and then took one last look around. She knew it didn't go unnoticed, but ignored them anyway. Jake was missing? It came out as more of a question in her head. Picking up the remote she pressed the red button, before it happened Bella knew she'd got it wrong, and what do you know? She did. "Fuck, sorry it's new," she said apologetically - still not meeting their gaze. Pressing the button next to it the recording studio opened up, she walked in turning back to see them all following. She gestured for them to sit. Picking up Luna (yes that's what she called the guitar) Bella started playing.

Lyrics the same as chapter 4

She chocked on the last few words. Her parents were taken away from her - no ripped away! - at the time she needed them most. "If only they had left the house later - but no! Stupid Bella wanted them there!" she thought to herself, looking down. "It's my fault," her mind kept repeating.

She looked up to see the eyes of her former family looking at her, tears streaming down her face. She was pulled into a hug by a pair of all too familiar arms: Esme's. "They…" she started. Bella didn't know if she could finish. "Renee came over here a few years back, she ended up sleeping with Charlie then found out she was pregnant. She had the baby and for years everything was great..." her breathing hitched, so that it was both heavy and slow. She then tried to continue.

"That night they were coming to see me…. I and Jake took J-J out that day. They were coming to see me perform... a drunk driver then swerved into the side of them, flipping the car over then smashing them into a lamppost..." she flinched at the memory. "Charlie was pronounced dead at the scene and Renee... well when they cut her out of the car... she was dead before they got to the hospital." She stood up walking away, the memory of the phone call flashed before her eyes. The doctor had broken the news to her there and then... just as she was about to go onstage. "John-Joseph knows I'm not his mother, but I'm the only person he's got." Were they happy making Bella relive that memory? Is this what they wanted? She sighed. There was more heartache to come: she knew that. She then turned to face them, "There! Happy!?"

None of them said a word for what seemed like a very long time. Alice stood up and pulled Bella into her arms. Bella didn't want Alice - she didn't want any of them, just Jake. Jake then appeared at the door, it was like he heard her thoughts. Running towards him she jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist, head lying on his chest. She needed Jake; she needed him to keep her safe. "Shh princess, it'll all be okay I promise yeah? Jake's here now." He shushed her, just like a little baby, however Bella didn't care as long as she was here, with him. She heard him whisper something to Esme although she couldn't make it out. Right now she didn't care.

She looked over to Esme and smiled a small sad smile. Esme had always been her mother (or at least a motherly figure) when Renee wasn't there, she always had Esme to go to. Jumping down from Jake she walked over to the sofa, sitting between Esme and Alice as Alice began to ask her questions. They chatted for about half an hour but Bella kept her guard up, never mentioning anything about her private life. Tanya jumped in "You and the mutt? Talk about dropping your standards! I can't see how you stand the stench!" Tanya smiled sweetly. "For your information…." Bella got cut off.

"Mrs Black?"

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	6. Chapter 6

Bella

"Mrs Black?" she jumped up tripping over the coffee table as she went. She could hear the sofa laughter escaping from everyone's lips "shut up, it hurts" she mumbled knowing everyone could hear her. She smiled at the man, Andrew; of course she had a meeting with him tonight. Andrew Lloyd Webber, the man she'd always wanted to meet was standing before her, god she felt like an idiot. She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't, what did she call him? Andrew chuckled; well she was glad he found her amusing. "Andrew" she nodded and whispered "please call me Bella" he nodded, she was to lost for words.

"Its about my musical you auditioned for" she smiled, "oh yeah that" she thought, how could she forget. "I've just came to hand you these forms and I expect to see you bright and early Tuesday morning, congratulations" she couldn't speak, a wide smile spread quickly across her face, her heart racing then finally the words came out far too fast "thank you I mean, thank you so much, what time?" he smiled "Hannah will be in touch, now I must go" he turned to leave then turned to face her as she reached the door "have a good evening Bella" "you too" she smiled.

She stood there looking at the papers in her hand, she didn't realise how long she was there until she heard footsteps, not moving she felt arms wrap around her face "what cha got there?" Jake asked his chin resting on her head. She slowly turned round prying her eyes off the paper "I got it Jake I fucking got it!" she did a little happy dance in his arms as his eyes scanned over the paper "I told you didn't I?" he kissed her head "well done baby" she turned to the Cullen's "I'm going to be on the west end!" they all congratulated her well accept Tanya although she didn't expect it anyway. "What's the musical?" Alice asked as Jake rolled his eyes "the only one she obsessed with" Jake answered. The Cullen's looked at him confused as Bella hit him playfully "I'm not that bad" glaring at her he answered, "yeah Bells…of course not."

Jake then decided to sit down and tell all her stupid stories about Grease and how it's on 24/7; the truth was Bella was obsessed, she would have done anything to be alive in the fifties and she loved everything about it. Dancing, songs, their style just everything. "So who you playing?" Emmett asked as he faced her "oh Rizzo" she smiled "Sandy's too sweet and innocent" Emmett laughed "well come on then little sis, how about a song"

_There are worse things I could do,_  
_than go with a boy or two._  
_Even though the neighbourhood thinks I'm trashy,_  
_and no good,_  
_I suppose it could be true,_  
_But there are worse things I could do._

_I could flirt with all the guys,_  
_Smile at them and bat my eyes._  
_Press against them when we dance,_  
_Make them think they stand a chance,_  
_Then refuse to see it through._  
_That's a thing I'd never do._

_I could stay home every night,_  
_Wait around for Mr. Right._  
_Take cold showers every day,_  
_and throw my life away,_  
_on a dream that won't come true._

_I could hurt someone like me,_  
_Out of spite or jealousy._  
_I don't steal and I don't lie,_  
_but I can feel and I can cry._  
_A fact I'll bet you never knew._  
_But to cry in front of you,_  
_that's the worse thing I could do._

She didn't realise she was looking at Edward through the last verse of that song until it ended. This was normal for Bella; she gets so engrossed in a song and just zone out. When realization finally hit she couldn't drop her gaze, he held it there just like he used too a small smile escaped her lips. Memories flashed through her mind, happy memories – there was no doubt she truly loved Edward. Her thoughts where broken by a squeaky annoying voice….Lauren.

Lauren came running in and jumped on Jake "hey baby" she kissed him deeply as Bella rolled her eyes walking away. Lauren was Jake's girlfriend; they hated each other. Lauren hated how close Bella and Jake where, she'd get jealous and take a little child's huff when ever Jake hugged Bella or was anywhere near her for that matter. Lauren also hated how Bella had to pretend to be married to Jake "stupid board" Bella thought, she hated lying, however she knew it was for the best.

"I've missed you, wish you didn't have to work" Bella mouthed what Lauren said; it was the same thing time and time again. Lauren stared at Bella as she just smiled back, this caused Alice to laugh. Alice's laughed made Laurens attention turn to the Cullen's "oh you have guests?" she asked Jake, Jake nodded as she went over to introduce herself "I'm Jake's girlfriend Lauren" "of course" Bella thought to herself. This was how she started off every conversation like she had just one a prize, Jake wasn't a prize but he was happy, something Bella would just have to deal with.

"Guys I've got to go" Jake said whilst he scratched the back of his neck. He was flying to New York then to London, business meetings. This is what Bella hated, saying goodbye – she'd not see Jake for two weeks now. Lauren ran over to him and did the typical "I don't want you to go" speech that honestly lasted longer then he'd actually be away. Bella cleared her throat after Lauren kissed him for the last time; he put Lauren down and walked over to Bella "ill see you later baby…..don't worry" he kissed her head and walked to the door "bye people" Bella smiled "bye Jake."

"Lauren, you can go now" Bella was surprised to see it was Edward who spoke "WHAT!?" Laurens voice rose "well its obvious Bella doesn't want you to be here" Bella looked at him "thank you" Bella mouthed Edward just nodded. "I don't see why she cares anyway, Jakes not hers he's mine" Bella stood up "you know what it is Lauren? My best friend is not a prize, he was the only one that cared, the only one that was there!" she spat at Lauren. Bella knew this would hurt the Cullen's however she was only telling the truth "I'm pretty sure I mean more to him then you ever could so please fuck off" Lauren stamped her feet "oh here we go again acting like the three-year old because she doesn't like the truth." Lauren glared at her "wow if looks could kill" Bella thought "I hate you Bella" Lauren shouted walking out she followed Lauren shouting back "Aw baby, I love you too" before shutting the door – turning to see eight pairs of astonished eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that" Bella sighed "look guys, tomorrows a big day I need to get home and sleep" they nodded standing up each giving Bella a hug on their way out well apart from Tanya. "Your coming tomorrow night?" they all nodded "good" Bella thought to herself "goodnight" she smiled "goodnight Bella" they said before she shouted to Eric, her driver telling him she was ready for home.

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